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French onion soup,because death breath can be used as a weapon on Black Friday. 

Wicked Awesome Pea Soup

Ingredients:
meaty ham bone
4ish cups of chicken broth
2 TBS olive oil
2 TBS butter
medium onion
3 TBS flour
bag of frozen peas
black pepper to taste

Start by pulling a ham bone with some meat still on it from last Christmas out of the freezer.  Wish it luck.

Seeing as how it is frozen solid, add it and about 4 cups of chicken broth in a pot and bring to a boil. Then, reduce the whole concoction to a very slow simmer.  

Take a nap.  

When you wake up, check that meaty bone.  If it has thawed, remove it from the chicken broth and carve off any spare ham bits. Return bone to simmering chicken/ham broth. (That's a whole lot of flavor right there!)

Put about 2 Tbs olive oil and 2 Tbs butter into a large pot. (Note: this is an exceedingly healthy recipe...it has peas!)  Turn heat to medium.  

While butter/oil is heating, dice up a medium yellow onion.  Add to butter/oil pot.  Allow to cook until semi-translucent, then dump in the ham bits.  Stir around a bit.  Sprinkle on 3 Tbs of flour, stirring often.

After 3-5 minutes dump in the chicken/ham broth mentioned previously in this wanna-be recipe.  (Be sure you've removed the ham bone.)  Use something (I used a flat whisk) to scrape the bottom of the pan while adding the chicken/ham broth. 

Using a slotted spoon, remove as many ham bits as possible from broth mixture to a bowl.  SAVE THOSE HAM BITS!

Add a bag of frozen peas to the broth mixture.  They will thaw quite quickly since the soup is boiling and all...

Blend broth/pea mixture with an immersion blender. (Or VERY CAREFULLY use a regular blender. Blend small amounts at a time!)

Return ham bits to broth/pea mixture.  Add black pepper to taste

Impress your husband/significant other/self with wicked-awesome pea soup.

Serve with Tailgate Ham Sandwiches.  Google them.  They're AMAZING.